When will my ladies learn to love their bodies?!
It hurts my heart to hear them speak with such disdain for them.
A friend of mine is recovering from a hysterectomy – MAJOR surgery! She is 43, single, no children. She never wanted them and never defined her womanhood by her ability to be a mother, so, thankfully, she is not grieving the loss of ability to have them. Her uterus was absolutely plagued with fibroids, so she would not have been able to carry a child anyway, and is grateful that she didn’t learn that the hard way. That part of her story is great! What she’s struggling with is how inconvenienced she is by her physical and energetic limitations right now.
She was told it would take 4-6 weeks to recover. Spitfire that she is, she set her sights on 4 weeks and fully expected to return to her normal freelance workload by week 2. She was actually more pissed than scared when an infection and high fever threw off her timetable and landed her back in the hospital. It upset her that 3 weeks passed before she was able to even look at her work.
Recently, she lost a whole day in tears and depression when she found an online support group where women described post-op side effects up to a year after surgery. The day of sadness turned to defiance when she finally found her inner voice again – the voice that has always encouraged her to ignore what everybody else is doing and forge her own path. The voice was angry though: “Screw that! I’m not waiting a YEAR to feel better!”
I am so glad that she chose to be the mistress of her own destiny rather than being swept up into standards and ‘what everybody else is doing’. But she is so angry at her body for not following HER timeline; for even the suggestion that her body might need her to take it easy for a while. She’s had a major organ – and about 4 kilos of mass – taken out of her body. “Life is short, Marissa! I don’t have time to wait for my body to heal!”
But… don’t you? Women are so HARD on themselves – ESPECIALLY when they feel weak!
This body is the only one you have.
It is precious, the only one of its kind that this planet has ever seen or will see again. It has been your vehicle for experiencing your life. Your body needs your care and love. You wouldn’t get angry at your loved ones for needing your love, would you? No! You’d take them in your arms and cuddle them, make them some chicken soup, or fluff their pillow. Why can’t you love you with the same generosity and compassion?
Love your bodies, please–
whatever its shape, size, color, whether it has freckles or spider veins, gray hair, leg hair! Nourish it with good food and water, get plenty of rest, and for the love of all that’s good, be kind to it!
With loving kindness, Dr. Marissa
