Women have always been the butt of jokes when it comes to crying.
‘She’s hormonal, she’s sensitive, she’s a mess.’ Yeah, we are hormonal… we are sensitive. And when we’ve been at it a while, we can look and feel pretty messy. But, why is any of that bad?! Crying makes us feel better!
Women usually don’t just spontaneously burst into tears over nothing. There are reasons behind them. Some women cry when they’re angry. Yes, sometimes it’s because their hormones are out of whack. Some, cry when they’re frustrated or hurt or sad. And most women cry for any combination of these reasons.
A friend of mine isn’t much of a public crier, but when her father died, she was in the most unbelievable pain of her life and for the first time, unconcerned by what people passing by might think if they saw her crying. Rather than stuffing her grief down into the deep recesses of her body, she let the tears come. Whether she was in the grocery store, on the phone, at work, if it was more than a couple of tears and a wobbly bottom lip, something that she really needed to let out, she would find a bathroom or empty office to get it out of her system. Then she would dry off and move on. And every time she felt better. She attributes the ease and speed at which her deepest grief to just going with the flow – of tears, in this case.
But, sometimes the tears aren’t easy to access. We know they’re there. They’re just below the surface and they’re making us feel bloated and grumpy. We’re fixated on the source of the tears, unable to walk away from that thing that’s causing the anger or stress. So what do we do? We pop in our go-to tearjerker movie – Steel Magnolias, or Up, or P.S. I Love You – we pour ourselves a glass of wine and keep the box of tissues handy. Or we go for a run or a yoga class. We do whatever it is that opens the release valve and we let go. But – why does that make us feel better?
There is some science behind why we feel better after a good cry.
According to WebMD, Lauren Bylsma, a PhD student at the University of South Florida in Tampa, who has focused on crying in her research says it is believed that tears release stress hormones or toxins from the body. Also, crying releases endorphins in your body, which are those pleasure-inducing hormones known to reduce pain. Tears also contain a lysozyme which kills 90-95% of bacteria. And they improve your vision, lubricating your eyes. Look at everything you have done for yourself with a good, clearing cry!
There are big changes happening in the world right now astrologically, and we are all really feeling the crunch of it. There are lots of endings happening. So, don’t be ashamed to cry, ladies. You are beautiful and unique and amazing and sometimes, you just need to let the tears roll. Don’t beat yourself up when you need to let them go. And when the wave has passed, appreciate that your body did what it needed to make you feel better, so you can think straight and move forward. And know that the other audacious badass mamas in your life are there for you.
Namaste, Dr. Marissa
