The new year is upon us, and as with everything else this past year, it’s looking like the coming year will be unusual. I want to help us brainstorm how we can transcend the disruptions we face with some practical (and existential!) tips for treating ourselves with love, compassion, and reverence.
Too often, this season highlights our worst habits, like putting our own needs to the side (or last), and choosing convenience over our mental and physical wellbeing.
2021 offers us an iron-clad excuse for opting out of tired resolutions. This grand opportunity invites us to consciously cultivate new traditions of self-love. When our typical habits and traditions are disrupted, it may feel frustrating – but this also means we are free to prioritize the kind of habits that honour ourselves and truly spark joy!
Read on for five unconventional tips that will help you invoke a more transcendent self-love for this new year.
Tune Out the Media
With 2021 unfolding, this is an ideal time to go within and hear the whispered longings of our hearts. If we spend most of our time paying attention to the voices of others, we tend to have a harder time discerning our own! With virtual technology becoming ever more prevalent in our daily lives, it feels like a breath of fresh air to consciously disconnect from social media, take a break from digital devices, and turn off the news.
How much of the content we consume during an average day is purposefully chosen, and how much of it simply shows up in front of us with no actual effort or discernment? Instead, consider taking certain apps off your phone, and challenge yourself to only do “analog” things for one day, several days, or even a week at a time!
At first, you may feel bored or agitated, but the first step toward cultivating a more conscious relationship with yourself is to remove the noise. Your curiosity will pull you in one direction or another, whether that’s cooking up a new dish, reading a book, or taking a nap!
Incidentally, I’ve moved my own social media engagement away from the realm of endless distractions and into a more sovereign, consciously-chosen digital space, free of ads and censorship and filled with like-minded souls who are interested in learning and growing together.
Indulge Your Mind
One of the curious effects of living in such a digitally-connected world is how easily distracted we have become.
Perhaps you have noticed how the media uses ever-shorter snippets of written content in favour of flashy pictures and bullet-points? Have you ever picked up your phone to search for something specific, then noticed a notification? Once you answered it, you may have had trouble remembering what you meant to search for in the first place!
Novelty may be great for getting clicks and “likes”, but it doesn’t offer much substance and leaves us feeling hungry for more intellectual stimulation. We can nurture and indulge our minds more fully when we consciously choose the content we consume.
Now is an excellent time to leave your phone in another room, make a big mug of herbal tea, and pick up that novel you’ve been considering. Get out some pretty-coloured pens and start using that journal or coloring book you’ve had stashed in a drawer for ages!
Start listening to a new podcast that immerses you in a foreign language, or enroll in an online course. Plenty of strategy games can be quite the intellectual challenge, and when played with your family, they’re also a wonderful way to enjoy some extra time together.
Reading, games, and creative pursuits like art and journaling are all excellent ways to “reset” your brain and give you the mental break you need to rest and recharge.
If you haven’t tried meditation yet, now may be the ideal time to start. You don’t have to completely clear your mind or follow specific mantras or prayers, unless you want to. Simply becoming aware of your thoughts for a few minutes each day can be a beneficial practice, and will help you to get out of your head and centre back into your body.
Nurture Your Body
When it comes to pampering our physical bodies, we might think of massages and trips to the spa. However, a lifestyle that is built on poor habits won’t be remedied with a few indulgent afternoons! Our simple daily habits and the small changes we make have an enormous impact over time, especially in improving our immune function.
That’s why it’s vital to consider how we treat our physical temple–from the foods we eat (and don’t eat), to the movement we get, and the rest we give ourselves.
We don’t need to overhaul our entire diet or fitness routine, and in fact, trying to change too much too quickly can often backfire. Instead, look for ways to include “little wins” that make you feel good, like adding a piece of fruit to your morning breakfast, or taking a 10-minute walk outside when the weather allows. Prioritizing your rest and sleep can look like getting into bed early just to relax, or saying no to an extra commitment when you feel overwhelmed.
Our immune system is also deeply impacted by stress and emotional turmoil. Too often, we tend to “live in our heads” and don’t drop into our physical bodies to really feel the sensations that life brings up for us. When we do this, we cut ourselves off from vital information and feedback that our physical, animal-body has to share with us.
Taking time to turn down the volume on our conscious thoughts, and feel the physical sensations that arise when we are truly present in our body, is a fantastic way to nurture ourselves.
Reconsider Your Limits
One of the most significant ways we hold ourselves back is by limiting our ideas about who we are, what we want, and what we’re truly capable of. Perhaps we were raised in an environment where we were told to be grateful for what we have. While this is a lovely sentiment, in some ways that message can backfire and lead us into thinking that it’s wrong to strive for more!
Outgrowing our past may feel like we’re betraying our origins – but using where we’ve come from as a stepping stone for creating more and better can be one of the most beautiful ways to cultivate gratitude for our origins.
What have you been assuming is out of reach, when it may in fact be possible? Where (and why) are your internal, unconscious limits? Are they serving you well on a path of growth and curiosity, or keeping you stuck in unhelpful patterns?
Consider this a formal invitation to re-evaluate your life and circumstances in the hopeful light of potential.
Often, we have learned to view certain traits or circumstances as impossible hurdles. What if the solutions we seek are merely disguised as problems? What have you been judging as a setback, that may be ripe with unexplored possibility?
Reconnect with Your Desires
2020 may have taken the wind out of your sails, but that does not mean your journey is doomed to failure. Perhaps being knocked back or blown off course has given you the perfect opportunity for re-evaluating your heart’s deepest desires.
What did you love as a child, before the world told you to be practical instead? What could you spend hours doing? What do you think about so frequently that it shows up in your dreams?
Many of us enjoy the feeling that we are in control of our lives, even if we know it’s a comforting illusion. This year has forced us to radically slow down or even stop our forward march – and amidst the loss of control, we have likely experienced a reckoning of choice and personal responsibility.
Our well-laid plans may have made sense at one time, but now, new paths and possibilities have been revealed to us. If we can stretch beyond our initial feelings of fear or bitterness, our so-called setbacks carry the seeds of potential for unexpected and beautiful new beginnings.
This season is the ideal time to step outside of our typical patterns, and reach for inspiration and insight into our true desires.
During times of stress and uncertainty, feeling numb can become a practical substitute for feeling happy – but it’s not a helpful or healthy coping mechanism in the long run. If you don’t know what you really want anymore, you may have gotten out of touch with your intuition and inner knowing.
Begin with creativity: draw, write, paint, doodle; listen to music, sing out loud, and move your body; browse a bookstore and pick up a new book or magazine. Take baths, stare at birds in the trees, and take deep breaths until you can trace new sensations in your physical body.
If you have trouble making time for fun, please allow yourself to indulge in the art of “doing nothing”, and be ready to embrace whatever surfaces when inspiration strikes.
The new year can be a time of increased stress, or a portal for potent change and forward momentum!
When we approach this time of year with the intention of cultivating self-love, we may find ourselves making different or unusual choices when compared to the past.
It requires fortitude when we choose to nourish ourselves by marching to our own beat, but the rewards of increased self-worth and inspiration for the future are priceless.
I wish you a blissfully indulgent and introspective start to this year, and a potent time of stillness, peace, and love!
