The last few months have been unlike anything we’ve ever experienced.
With rapid social and political changes, mass suffering, death, and paralyzing uncertainty, it’s important to acknowledge that we are in the midst of a collective trauma.
We are living through a major dystopian event, which will be summarized and recorded in textbooks. Someday, children in school will be taught about these times, but information will likely be distilled down to numbers and statistics–which will never come close to quantifying what we collectively feel right now.
Maybe you have days where you’re inspired to bake banana bread, do hot yoga, and meet your girlfriends for a virtual coffee hour on Zoom. I’m certain you also have days where summoning the energy to prepare food, respond to texts, or make your bed brings on overwhelm. Vacillating between these two states is normal, given the circumstances.
Self-compassion is critical here: Embrace the fact that during these times, you will have days where ‘your best’ isn’t going to look that good, objectively speaking. Understand that these are typical human responses to tragedy, and go easy on yourself.
The good news is, humans are resilient. One thing the pandemic has revealed is how very interconnected we are with the Earth, and with each other. We will grow–and heal–in time, and with the help and support of each other.
However, let’s not be so eager for the future that we neglect the NOW. The present moment is where we reside, and where we can draw power from.
If you’re feeling helpless, apathetic, or agitated for change, I want to share a concept that may provide some solace–an anchor point, if you will–in the form of a single word: Hineni.
Hineni (pronounced Hih-nay-nee) is a Hebrew word, which translates to “Here am I” or “I am here”. Hineni is what Abraham said when he was asked to sacrifice his son Isaac, and it’s what Ram Dass meant when he wrote, be here now.
Hineni is about physical, mindful embodiment–not just being present, but being present with your full attention to your surroundings, to others, and to yourself. It is the response one might have when called upon by that which is most holy in the world, and implies a conscious effort to be present and emotionally invested in each moment, taking personal responsibility for ourselves, our actions, and our choices.
Mindfulness is something of a buzzword these days, in large part because our culture is so fixated on individuality that we’ve forgotten how to connect deeply with anything outside of ourselves. We each like to think of ourselves as helpful, kind people–and we must certainly be, to some extent. However, when faced with massive tragedy, systemic corruption, failing ecosystems, and worse, it is all too easy to think we cannot make a difference. We are just one drop in an ocean of billions. Compared to the enormity of the problems we are collectively facing, it’s understandable to feel like your efforts would be meager, and therefore fruitless.
Hineni invites us to reject that notion, and instead, invokes us to focus on the differences we can make.
In the famous story by Leo Tolstoy, The Three Questions, a seeker asks a sage three key questions that he feels will make him a wise and just person. He asks: what time is the most important; who is the most important person; and what is the most important thing to do?
Through an unexpected series of events which require his full presence (Hineni, embodied), the seeker finds that his questions have effectively answered themselves:
The most important person is whomever you are with. The most important thing to do is to do good, to the best of your awareness and ability. Finally, the most important time is always NOW–right now, in the present–because this is the only time you have to do good, to impact others, and to be present.
In this way, our Hineni moment is dynamic–and I believe that we are being called to RISE together, to be here now, to be fully present. Remember, the present is where we draw our power from.
Hineni is not an easy, passive state of being…it’s an active noun (like love, and struggle, as Fred Rogers once explained). Hineni calls us to be vigilant and ready to show up, ready to give whatever is needed in service of love, kindness, and caring in the present moment.
It may feel like the middle of a global pandemic is not the right time to lean into this kind of strength of character…but personally, I feel that stepping into a higher level of vigilance and personal responsibility is exactly the kind of balm our souls need in order to find an anchor point amidst the shifting sands.
Discernment is crucial, here of course. Rest when you need to rest–but also, keep in mind that sometimes, when we feel weary, it’s because we are doing too few of the things that light up our hearts and ignite our passion. Part of what makes us feel so vulnerable and anxious is the feeling that we are helpless, and that we cannot do anything of consequence to help.
Hineni asks us to believe in our own ability to make a difference, even in small ways–because there really are no “small ways”.
Every time we use our voices, take a stand, show up, and say “Hineni – Here am I”, the difference that we make in healing the world is profound.
