Have you ever considered what it means to establish and honour your boundaries?
For some women, this looks like getting crystal clear on what is in total alignment with your inner pilot light. For others, it looks like saying “no” to commitments that feel heavy, false, or otherwise out of sync with your goals and purpose.
I’m relieved that we as women are beginning to recognize the value of honouring our feelings by saying yes to things that truly light us up! For too long, we’ve been preoccupied with “have to’s” and “shoulds” that have been loaded onto our shoulders by other people (or even by us). These obligations hamper our ability to fuel our true potential!
As a woman, a mother, and an entrepreneur, there are so many demands on my time. I’ve come to understand (thank you, Brené Brown) that demonstrating true compassion for myself and in the world involves having very clear boundaries about how I spend my time and what I say ‘yes’ to. Often, a ‘no’ to outward demands feels like a ‘yes’ to my soul’s calling!
However, I’ve also realized that it’s important for us to discern between things that are out of alignment with who we are, and things that feel challenging (and therefore frightening) for us. We might hesitate to take up a challenge…not because it’s a poor fit for our growth, but because we’re afraid of not handling it well.
Honouring our boundaries often looks like saying ‘no’ to the not-quite-right opportunities, so that we’re able to make energetic space in our world for the phenomenal ones—the ten-out-of-tens that feel like they’re tailor-made to showcase our spirit! Unfortunately, we may get so good at saying ‘no’ that we put ourselves at risk of passing up some truly amazing opportunities for growth—because, at first glance, they’re not comfy, easy ‘yesses’.
Instead, these offers show up and make us feel a sense of apprehension. Maybe it’s an offer to participate in an ambitious work project, or spending extended time with a romantic interest. Your mind is reciting a litany of ‘what-ifs’, and you’re honestly not sure what you want to do next!
I’m curious…when was the last time you did something that scared you a little? Something that made you feel nervous, excited, and ready to face a new challenge? Do you make space for those kinds of opportunities, or do you find yourself weighed down by saying yes (too often) to things that don’t truly light you up?
I was recently asked to officiate at my nephew’s wedding, and I felt so excited and deeply honoured by the invitation!
Here’s the thing, though: I’d never officiated at a wedding before, and I wanted it to go perfectly! This would be a day that the bride and groom would always remember, after all.
I decided to trust in myself, instead of letting worry get the better of me. I did my research, and I trusted in my abilities and in my heart. I’m happy to say that the ceremony went beautifully, and I felt such joy that I was able to play a small part in creating a truly magical and memorable experience for all!
Deciding to officiate at the wedding was an exciting yes, but it wasn’t an effortless one. I could have let self-doubt and inexperience lead me to say ‘no’, which is an easy out that we tend to give ourselves. However, the easy outs leave no room for new endeavours that will hone our chops and prompt us to expand into more fully realized versions of ourselves!
Certainly, we want to be cautious of saying yes too often–out of obligation or some sense of what we “should” be doing—but it’s also true that if we decline challenges too often, we’ll find ourselves getting comfortable…and maybe even a little bored.
Saying ‘no’ more frequently to all of the obligatory requests is excellent general advice—and I believe that by being more strategic in what we choose to say ‘yes’ to, we can leverage our efforts toward growth, instead of just ease.
We are currently experiencing a time of tremendous change, both personal and global—and if we choose to view these challenges as growth opportunities, they can help steer us toward ever greater heights. They can help steer us home to ourselves.
Here’s to saying YES with even greater discernment, and to honouring our boundaries with ease and certainty!
