What truly matters to you? What lights your soul on fire, and fills you with motivation, energy, and joy?
Strangely, times of crisis and uncertainty have a knack for calling in clarity, because they shine a light on the true essentials and cause us to re-evaluate our priorities.
I think it’s safe to say that the lives we had expected to be living in 2020 have diverged wildly from our projected path. Our pre-lockdown lives definitely posed some challenges, but they also felt familiar, and therefore comforting, in many ways.
The goals and priorities we felt were important to us at the start of this year have almost definitely shifted in light of the global issues we’re facing–and that’s entirely to be expected. When we said we wanted to work remotely more often and to be able to spend more time with our families–this was NOT what we had in mind!
Times like these are so challenging because many of the practical and societal frameworks we’ve viewed as permanent are now crumbling, and will likely never be the same again. It’s important to acknowledge that many of our prior realities were in fact very flawed and problematic–and in many ways, the future we are shaping will look markedly different from our past.
We are crossing a Rubicon, and the future ahead is both unknown AND ripe with opportunities for us to embrace new ideals and different priorities.
I love the concept of the ‘Priority Jar’ to help gain clarity about how to spend my time–and whether that time is congruent with what I say is most important to me. The current global situation offers an opportunity for deep reflection and re-prioritizing of our needs and wants–and here’s where the Priority Jar may fit in for you:
Imagine that you’ve got a large mason jar, and you fill it up with beautiful, polished, palm-size stones. Perhaps you only have room for five or six of those before it’s full…but then you’ll find that several handfuls of pebbles and sand can still fit into the “full” jar.
Is it full now? Well, you’ll also be able to add a quantity of water to the jar, even after adding the pebbles and sand.
However, if you filled your jar with water first, you’d have a hard time squeezing in anything else–whether sand, pebbles, or rocks–without spilling the contents and making a mess!
Now, imagine that your daily tasks are the stones, pebbles, sand, and water…and the jar represents the amount of time and energy that you have each day.
Dr. Stephen Covey used this concept to illustrate how we can effectively manage our time and energy by identifying our stones–our true priorities–and making sure to add them in first.
Defining true priorities: Choosing the stones for your Priority Jar
Begin by mapping out your top priorities, and then make a list of the tasks and actions that correspond to those priorities. If you have children–what specific activities matter most to you and your kids? Eating meals together? Family hikes? Movie nights? Reading bedtime stories together? Ask your kids what makes them feel seen and loved by you. Their answers may surprise you in their simplicity!
If you’re in a relationship–date nights and sex might be top priorities. Put the kids to bed, get dressed in something other than your yoga clothes (lol), put some Passion and Whisper blends in your diffuser, and meet in the living room for homemade mocktails. Better yet–give each other essential oil massages! If you don’t know each other’s love language, this is a great time to find out.
If you’re currently working from home, it’s especially important to map out your work time so you’re not struggling with endless interruptions. Designate a home office area and make a paper sign for the door if you need to! Focus on completing the tasks that have the most impact in your business–and cut yourself some slack, because you won’t get everything done right now–and that’s okay.
Treat these as your stones–they’re extremely important, and deserve first priority in your jar!
Next, add in your pebbles. These things are still important and need to get done, but the world isn’t going to stop if you need to put off your grocery pickup or skip the laundry for a day or two.
Finally, it’s time to add sand and water elements. These priorities are worthy of being added to the jar–but they’re more flexible and fluid. They will easily fit in around the stones and pebbles, and in fact, will even act as “mortar” to secure the jar’s contents in place!
Think of your daily movement practice, your healthy food choices and supplements, and your time spent in meditation and/or prayer as the sand and water. The exact amount or specific timing of these things is fluid, but they’re the glue that holds our wellbeing intact!
What’s urgent and what’s a priority are often not the same.
Especially in times of uncertainty or fear, we can easily lose sight of what our big picture needs and desires are, and get swept up in the “tyranny of the urgent.”
The tyranny of the urgent often shows up as dozens of little tasks, demanding just a moment of your attention, many times over the course of each day. These tasks are not necessarily unimportant, and they don’t usually take much time…but each of them pulls you ever so slightly off course, until you’re feeling drained and used up–and likely unfulfilled, too.
Of course, we need to walk the dog, brush our teeth, and plan healthy meals….but if we don’t also define the actions that light up our souls and bring us closer to our true desires–and prioritize them as stones in our jar–we may never find the space to fit them into our daily lives.
We feel weary when we don’t do enough of what brings us joy and fulfillment.
This time has forced us to slow down and really look at our reflection, and we may not be entirely pleased with what we see. You might even be considering whether the things you previously spent the bulk of your time doing genuinely contributed to your fulfillment, joy, and wellbeing.
The difference between surviving and thriving is defined differently for each of us. It might involve something as simple as taking time to make art, to sit outside and listen to the birds, or to call a friend and enjoy each other’s laughter and conversation.
Alternately, you may be thinking that to truly thrive you’ll need to make some significant changes and new choices as you move forward. A job or relationship that’s just “okay” might feel fine when everything else is fine–but in the midst of global uncertainty, we may suddenly feel confined or constricted by things that, in actuality, were never a great fit in the first place. That kind of clarity can feel a bit harsh, but in the long run, we can trust that it’s guiding us in the direction of our dreams!
A new hobby may lead to a new income stream, or even a new career, as many of us are realizing just how much our old ways no longer serve us. It’s not only okay, but wonderful to allow our joy, curiosity, and passion to fill the void. So dance, sing, create, and explore your heart’s desires…follow the threads of your curiosity wherever they may lead. Give yourself permission to find joy everywhere you look and honour this process of self-discovery!
The truth is that there is no “normal” to go back to…but that paves the way forward for some truly wonderful new possibilities to unfold.
The wake of suffering that this pandemic has brought upon us is scarcely imaginable. It would be cruelly dismissive to see our world simply “go back to normal” in a matter of months as if nothing significant happened.
The truth is that the old ways of the world are done, and it’s up to us to decide to create a brighter future for ourselves and our loved ones.
Many people were passionately seeking change on a global level. Unfortunately, when change arrives, it’s seldom gentle. It can be messy, chaotic, and painful, but we can choose to create fresh beauty from a blank canvas. We can choose to ascend into greater alignment and love.
Over the past ten weeks, I’ve been fully focused on my family–on our nutrition and daily wellness protocols and supporting immunity. On our mental and emotional wellbeing. On taking time to cook together, to create together, and to spend more time hiking, talking, and simply being together.
I’m also recognizing my personal need for more time spent in meditation, movement, and breathwork, as I delve deeper into how my priorities are continuing to shift.
It’s not effortless, but I’m actively seeking joy and delight in the day-to-day. I make a choice each day to be mindful of what I love and what I’m grateful for, so that I may strengthen those neural pathways and create more ease and joy in my future.
In interesting (and challenging) times like these, it’s easy to feel adrift and unsure of whether you’re spending your time on the “right” things.
The Priority Jar is a wonderful way to help us reconnect with what we truly value and what is worth striving for.
May this time help you discover your new, true priorities, and rekindle the fire in your soul.
